When Children Don’t Ask for Help: Reflections from a Dainik Jagran article

 

First Aid for the Emotional Heart :Suneel Vatsyayan

Emotional CPR Trainer | National Executive Member, NAPSWI
“Children often cannot ask for help—waiting can be dangerous.
Just as CPR is given when someone collapses, eCPR is needed when the emotional heart is breaking silently. Emotional CPR is not a one-time act. It is a daily human responsibility. If we learn to connect earlier, lives can be saved—quietly, gently, in time.

Reflections from a Dainik Jagran article, a clinical case study, and voices from the community

A recent article published in Dainik Jagran under the Uttar Pradesh/NCR edition has sparked widespread concern and reflection across families, campuses, and mental health circles.

Titled “बच्चों को डांट-फटकार, उपेक्षा नहीं, चाहिए ‘इमोशनल सीपीआर’”, the article was authored by journalist Anoop Kumar Singh. It draws attention to a deeply troubling reality: children and adolescents in emotional distress are often misunderstood, ignored, or disciplined—when what they truly need is connection and care.

The article is enriched by a clinical case study shared by 

Dr. Roop Sidana, whose experiences from mental health OPDs shed light on a growing, and still under-recognized, crisis.

This piece for  brings together the essence of that article, Dr. Sidana’s case insights, and thoughtful reactions from readers and professionals across India.

A tragedy that forces us to reflect

The suicide of three minor sisters in Ghaziabad is not just a
heartbreaking incident—it is a collective warning. Early reports pointed to excessive screen exposure, online gaming, social withdrawal, and breakdown of family communication.

But beyond listing causes, the article poses a more uncomfortable question:
could this emotional crisis have been noticed and supported earlier?

Too often, children’s distress is labelled as bad behaviour, stubbornness, or defiance. In reality, it may be a silent cry for help.

---

What mental health clinics are seeing

Drawing from his clinical practice, Dr. Roop Sidana highlights a worrying pattern increasingly visible in OPDs:

• Adolescents (especially girls aged 15–18) spending long hours immersed in foreign web series or online content

• Gradual withdrawal from studies, daily routines, and family conversations

• Severe irritability, anxiety, crying spells, panic-like symptoms, and even fainting when mobile use is restricted

One case involved two young women from rural Rajasthan (names changed). Enrolled in online B.Ed coaching, they instead became deeply absorbed in Korean television content. One developed intense emotional attachment to a foreign actor and began insisting on marriage, threatening self-harm when opposed.

After marriage, her condition deteriorated—insomnia, refusal to eat, repeated suicidal ideation, and inability to accept her spouse. Hospitalisation, counselling, medication, and family psychoeducation brought partial recovery. However, discontinuation of treatment led to relapse and renewed excessive screen use. Treatment is ongoing.

The takeaway is clear:
this is not “laziness” or “defiance”—it is a treatable mental health condition.

---

The hidden danger of behavioural addiction

Experts caution that excessive screen exposure can lead to behavioural addiction, where imagined relationships and virtual worlds begin to replace real-life bonds.

Possible consequences include:

• depression and anxiety

• impulsivity and emotional dysregulation

• detachment from reality

• suicidal thoughts, especially during adolescence

Early recognition and timely intervention can prevent irreversible outcomes.

---

Why children rarely ask for help

One of the most important points underscored in the article is this:
children and adolescents almost never ask for help directly.

Their pain often appears as:

• sudden silence or isolation

• aggression or extreme irritability

• self-harm tendencies

• substance use or disordered eating

• withdrawal disguised as a need for “privacy”

When such behaviours are met with scolding or control rather than curiosity and care, children retreat further—and the risk escalates.

---

Emotional CPR (eCPR): responding before it’s too late

Just as physical CPR is administered when someone collapses and cannot call for help, Emotional CPR (eCPR) is meant for moments when a person—especially a child—is emotionally overwhelmed and unable to articulate distress.

As explained by psychiatrist Dr. Nimesh Desai Former Director Institute of Human Behavior and Allied Sciences, eCPR does not replace therapy. It is a human first response that stabilises, connects, and protects—until professional care is reached.

The three pillars of eCPR

• C – Connect
  Opening a calm, compassionate dialogue
  “What happened that made you feel this way?”

• P – emPower
  Restoring agency and dignity
  “How can I support you right now?”

• R – Revitalize
  Reconnecting with routines, relationships, and hope
  “What has helped you feel better before?”

Professionals also emphasise its importance for children with ADHD and Autism, who are often mislabelled as “difficult” rather than distressed. Approaches like NADA ADS and eCPR offer non-judgmental, regulation-focused support.

---

Voices from readers: what the article stirred

The Dainik Jagran piece prompted heartfelt responses from across the country:

• Nada Hiral, Good Health Ambassador
  “This is very educational and important. I will share it on my platforms as well.”

• Nancy, Shimla
  “We often fail to notice the emotional struggles of children. This article makes us pause and reflect.”

• Amar Parihar, trained by Suneel Vatsyayan
  “An excellent article. I am already using Emotional CPR whenever required.”

• Nancy, UPES Dehradun
  “This article is deeply upsetting. Instead of blaming children, parents, teachers, and society must notice behavioural changes and offer emotional support. Tragedies like these can be prevented.”

• Dr. Anandita, Psychiatrist, Rajasthan
  She echoed the need for early counselling, family therapy, and sensitive responses rather than dismissal or discipline.

These reactions reflect a shared truth: people care—but many don’t yet know how to respond.

---

From awareness to action: the community’s role

According to Suneel Vatsyayan, suicide prevention cannot be left to mental health professionals alone.

Through initiatives with Nada India Foundation and the National Association of Professional Social Workers in India, the Healthy Campus campaign has trained student ambassadors and social workers across more than 20 universities to build emotionally safe environments.

This model now urgently needs to reach schools, families, and neighbourhoods.

---

What needs to change—now

• Emotional first-aid training for parents and teachers

• Mandatory social workers and counsellors in schools

• Open, stigma-free conversations about children’s feelings

• Teaching Emotional CPR alongside physical CPR

Every suicide is a collective failure.
Every timely connection is a shared victory.

---

First Aid for the Emotional Heart: For trainings call us 9810594544 vidyaleadacademy@gmail.com 

Emotional CPR & Spiritual Emergency: Lauren explained about emotional crisis that led to her being diagnosed with “schizophrenia” and further hospitalization.

Health Advocate and Peer counsellor , Vipan Sachdeva asked Dan what his understanding of the term was and if in his opinion it had some similarity to “Spiritual Bankruptcy” Mr. Vatsyayan clarified that “Spiritual Bankruptcy” is a term frequently used in “Narcotics Anonymous”. Lauren provided context to the term “Spiritual Emergency”. She had used the term during training to explain her emotional crisis that led to her being diagnosed with “schizophrenia” and further hospitalization.

An online meeting was organized by Dr. Daniel Fisher (Dan) and Lauren Spiro in association with Nada India Foundation as a follow up to the training conducted on March 16^th, 2020 to discuss the future of Nada Health Advocates as practitioners of emotional CPR on April 9^th,2020 at 17:30 IST. The meeting was attended by Mr. Suneel Vatsyayan (Chairman, Nada India), Ms. Pallavi V. (Project Director, Nada India), Ms. Riya Thapliyal (Peer Counselor, Nada India), Ms. Jyotsna Roy, Mr. Vipan Sachdeva, Ms. Kushangi Roy and Ms. Pooja Choudhary. The agenda was set to taking feedback post the training session as we as discussing the road ahead.  While Lauren had conducted the training last month, Dr. Fisher and the emotional CPR practitioners were interacting for the first time. What is emotional CPR? 

“Emotional CPR (eCPR) is a public health education program designed to teach people to assist others through an emotional crisis by three simple steps: C = Connecting, P = emPowering, and R = Revitalizing. People who have been through the training consistently report that the skills they learned have helped them communicate better in all their relationships.”

“We believe in eCPR to bring better communication, especially in times of distress. We are excited to connect beyond language and culture and want for people to support and understand each other.”

• Dr Daniel Fisher 

 Therapy v/s emotional CPR.

Mr. Vatsayan mentioned how he thought therapy is complicated process. He felt eCPR on the other hand was as simple as getting a glass of water. Dr Fisher appreciated this analogy and added that he wanted to make emotional CPR accessible and easy to reproduce. In his opinion too, therapy procedures are complex whereas eCPR is a simple way of being; how one can be with themselves and other people, how one can communicate better and on a deeper level. To this Lauren added how eCPR is simple and a heart to heart connection. She believes that it is all about compassion. 

“The greatest gift that we brings to another person in distress is, ourselves”, said Lauren. 

Practicing eCPR

Health Advocate, Pooja Choudhary, felt that everyone uses eCPR in their daily lives, knowingly or unknowingly. She also observed that generally we practice it with people we know. “jo humse close hote hain, unhi ke saath hum eCPR practice karte hain. Anjaan log jab apno se hi nahi baat kar pate toh humse kaise karenge (We practice it with people who are close to us. When a stranger can’t tell their plight to the people they know, how will they discuss it with us)”, noted Pooja. Dr Fisher agreed that connecting is easier with people we know however eCPR can be practiced with strangers also. It’s like CPR. In his words, “It (eCPR) is a universal language of emotions which supersedes language and culture.” He substantiated this with the example of a baby. We and the baby don’t share a language; it cries and we try to soothe it. We don’t know why it is crying, it gives us clues, we try to address its needs but almost always it needs to be soothed and eventually we realise what it needs. To this Mr. Vatsyayan added, “you don’t tell the child to not cry, you comfort it. We should be the same way to people”.

Spiritual Emergency

Mr. Vatsyayan briefed Lauren and about how in previous virtual discussions with the health advocates we have discussed self-care, quiet time and our understanding of a “Spiritual Emergency”.

Health Advocate, Vipan Sachdeva asked Dan what his understanding of the term was and if in his opinion it had some similarity to “Spiritual Bankruptcy”. Mr. Vatsyayan clarified that “Spiritual Bankruptcy” is a term frequently used in “Narcotics Anonymous”.Lauren provided context to the term “Spiritual Emergency”. She had used the term during training to explain her emotional crisis that led to her being diagnosed with “schizophrenia” and further hospitalization. It took her 25 years to realise that all she needed was for someone to listen to her and practice eCPR, there was no need for medication. Dan observed how we are all living in an era of spiritual bankruptcy, we are cut off from our spirit and emotions. He said, “This process of ecpr came from my lived experience that was labelled schizophrenia. If I had been accompanied by people who had been through their own spiritual healing and had not been distressed by my own distress, I would not have needed to be hospitalised”. In his opinion, mental illness is connected to heart, soul and being and not just the brain. “We can’t remain mindful in times of distress, we need other to nourish us”, noted Dan.   

Qualities of an emotional CPR Practitioner

Dan and Lauren mentioned the following qualities that a person needs to have to be an efficient eCPR Practitioner:

• Passion for helping others
• Big-heartedness
• Comfort with working with groups
• Exposed to eCPR and passionate about it.
• People who are transparent and comfortable with their feelings.
• If they’re professional, they shouldn’t hold tightly to the boundaries of their profession. They are a human being first.

Separating Profession from eCPR

The last quality mentioned by Dan brought Health Advocate Kushangi Roy to explain to Dan and Lauren how she has been trained in different kinds of therapy and how it has been nailed in her to ask questions, make suggestions and how it is difficult for her to just listen, which is what eCPR is all about; listening. Her question to Dan and Lauren was how to practice eCPR and not ask questions. Dan mentioned how they discouraged asking questions and giving suggestions. They felt that by questioning and making suggestions, one is “serving the need of the society to conform and behave.” However, since she has been trained in it, she could stick to little questions around curiosity and wonder and avoid close and interrogative questions. Kusha further questioned on how during physical distancing in the times of corona, she can develop a connection with people over phone. To answer this, while Dan mentioned the importance of tone, Mr. Vatsyayan explained how he himself disconnect with the world in order to connect with the person in distress. Lauren resonated with Mr. Vatsyayan and mentioned how she followed a similar technique. 

The Road Ahead

Both Lauren and Dan were excited to bring the practiced of eCPR to India through the digital medium and wished to take it one step at a time.